According to the Jeff Duncan from The Times-Picayune, Peyton Manning is “at home” training in preparation for the 2015 NFL season.
The Denver Broncos’ quarterback has been evaluated by renowned fitness trainer Mackie Shilstone and is expected to begin training with Shilstone this week as he starts offseason preparations for his 18th NFL season, two sources close to Manning said Monday.
That’s right. “Renowned fitness trainer” because that’s the world we live in now. If there’s a job, we can make a celebrity out of who we figure is the best at it. Reality television made certain of that.
ANYHOODLE, Pey-Pey and the Peygency will have to talk to Elway first before the oldest quarterback in the league can be officially added to video game rosters everywhere, but that seems like a formality considering John Elway would probably save Jeff George a roster spot if he asked because: THE FRATERNITY OF UNLIKEABLE QUARTERBACKS STICK TOGETHER MAN! Although, while we’re on the subject of sheeple and waking them up, with Manning’s current status it’s fair to assume BIG PHARMA is involved somehow too.
Okay, enough horsing around. This is terrible news for all involved. Broncos supporters know for an objective fact that this ensures one more season of bright hope culminating in crushing defeat, which is far less fun than just a crappy season with some brachiosaurus Oswilin’ out under center. Can we just hurry up and let Manning live on in montages? He’s one Sex Cannon away from being Dan Marino, minus the Zubaz and illegitimate TV studio pregnancies.